How far along? 28 weeks and 5 days. 

Total weight gain/loss:  17-18 lbs?  Haven't weighed in since my last update.

Maternity clothes: From here on out, I'm probably the queen of how to dress up stretch pants.   

Stretch marks? No.


Sleep: Sometimes.  When the garbage guy doesn't get here at 4am.  When I don't wake up to pee and then get so distracted by baby kicks that I can't fall back asleep.  When sleeping on my side works out.  

Favorite things this week: Since my last prego update post 2 weeks ago, I've been back to work post-holidays and my favorite so far is my positivity New Year's resolution.  I have a LOT to be grateful for and happy about and so many things to look forward to.  Right now, I'm grateful for reaching 28 weeks and looking forward to another ultrasound next week.  

Miss Anything?  Exercise.  Turkey sandwiches with avocado and pickles and hot peppers.  

Movement: Still a lot of kicking!  I'm loving it, even in the middle of the night when I can't go back to sleep.  

Food cravings: Not really.  Still jealous every time someone else gets a tasty turkey sandwich though!   

Gender: Boy.

Labor Signs: None.   

Symptoms: Starting to feel a few pains due to Small Sandifer's weight gain!    

Belly Button in or out? In. 

Wedding rings on or off? On.

Happy or Moody?  Focused on the positive, and grateful I've made it this far with everything looking good.  We're starting to plan the nursery, and not only did I start a registry list but I actually started buying things!!  I know that might seem normal to most, but other moms who've lost a baby will probably agree that baby purchases are really hard the next time(s) around.  But I'm focused on happy stuff and I realized that if this baby comes early, I want to be ready.  

Love, S.

Trying Something New: Preparing for Baby!

Baby Sandifer.  Less than 10 weeks until your scheduled March 12 birthday!!  Sometimes I can't believe it.

Given the very scary ending to my first pregnancy, I haven't been interested in baby prep.  I am as optimistic as I can be, but this probably comes across as more realistic or even pessimistic.  It's hard to hope for the best when William is not here.  But that said, New Sandifer is getting huge.  More than 2 lbs 3 oz (that was almost a week ago now!), he's hopefully flourishing in his little tummy space.

Because he's getting huge, and because I am wearing myself out being worried, I want to try something new.  Less worry. Worry won't change the outcome.

Part of worrying less should be preparing more.  Figuring out what we need to get ready for this!  Allowing myself to get excited about nursery decor.  I don't think I can handle scheduling a baby shower, but I can learn what our New Boy will need when he gets here, and have a plan for getting it delivered ASAP.  Amazon Wish List maybe?

First 6 Weeks
http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-and-mom-gear-for-the-first-six-weeks_5669.bc

Supposedly Minimalist Baby Needs List
http://www.thewisebaby.com/minimalist-baby-registry-guide/
(they also have a good urban baby list - might split the difference since we want small/light/easy to use in the city products)

Diaper-related
http://blog.littlelane.com/cloth-compostable-diapers-bay-area/

I started my research this afternoon and to be completely honest it was overwhelming.  Asking myself to worry less is going to be a process.  I think I almost gave myself a panic attack or maybe the dizzy, out of breath feeling is just another prego symptom.  Either way, success.  I started my research.  I even started a hidden baby registry, which now has 2 items on it.

It's a start, and I'm glad for that.  Love, S.

26 weeks, 5 days

How far along? 26 weeks and 5 days. At our ultrasound on Monday, he was estimated to weigh 2 lbs 3 oz and the doctor is happy with how things are going.  

Total weight gain/loss:  Very close to 15 lbs so far.

Maternity clothes: All stretch pants, all the time!  

Stretch marks? No.


Sleep: Yes.

Favorite things this week: I would have to say that my favorite thing has been a good break from work.  I have been to the office twice (last Monday all day and this Monday for half), but things are in good shape and it has been so wonderful to have lots of free time.  

Miss Anything?  Sleeping on my tummy!  

Movement: Yes!  A LOT!  Grateful for every little (and big) kick.  This kid is a crazy kicker, and I'm loving that.  

Food cravings: Cinnamon rolls, but haven't found any yet.  I refuse to eat a dry-ish one and nothing I've seen looks sufficiently sweet, sticky and covered with icing to do the trick.  Best I don't find one anyway -- 1 hour glucose test just happened and now I'm worried about passing!  Good news though: I don't mind the orange test drink.  It's not good at all, but really just tasted like extra sweet Tang.  

Gender: Boy.

Labor Signs: None, but the doctor gave us a card with a list of preterm labor warning signs a month ago, and I'm definitely looking.  

Symptoms: My digestion has slowed down in the last month or so.  Enough said.  Other than that, I do have bruising from my daily Lovenox shots… I don't get a new bruise from every shot, but when I do it lasts 2 weeks!  The Dr. said that I should be icing BEFORE the shot to constrict the blood vessels.  Oops.  I was icing after, and only if the shot hurt.  I also still have round ligament pain occasionally, but no where near as often as I did a month or so ago.  

Belly Button in or out? In.

Wedding rings on or off? On.

Happy or Moody?  Both. Christmas was hard, because I keep thinking that William should have been here with us celebrating the holidays, almost walking, probably more interested in wrapping paper than presents.  I miss him.

Love, S.

Christmas Traditions, William's ornaments

Christmas ornaments are my favorite.  Every year I find one Sandifer house ornament of the year.  Every time we go someplace new for vacation we get a fun ornament as our souvenir: a Buckingham palace guard from London, a river boat from New Orleans, etc.  And for every big milestone I get a Wallace silver sleigh bell with the year engraved.  Someone gave me one in 1977 so I picked up the tradition for Terce and I, getting one in 2008 engraved with our anniversary date, getting one to celebrate the year we bought our house, and so on.  We have ornaments from both of our childhood trees in our collection and very special ornaments my grandma sent from the Met for our bridal shower.  The tree is so special to me.  It is like a little family history.

One of my absolute favorites, from T's childhood.

Last year when William passed away, I knew I would want and need him to be part of the Christmas tree too.  He has a 2013 silver sleigh bell, and my mom gave us a silver angel that says William, 11-2-13.  I love these.  So much.

To continue the tradition, this year William's new ornaments are the cutest Jonathan Adler animals -- an elephant and a giraffe.  I figured that if he was about 1 year old, he would like zoo animals.  I couldn't resist a third one when I was shopping, and got Dempsey a terrier ornament that matches them.

Dempsey willingly sitting with his tree. 

Thank goodness we have a fake one or he might have tried to eat it.

William, we love you and miss you.  All.the.time.   

Love, S.

24 weeks 3 days

How far along? 24 weeks and 3 days today -- He is probably about 1.5 pounds now!

Total weight gain/loss:  Around 12 lb this morning. 

Maternity clothes: Yes, but I did manage to wear normal jeans w/ a Bella Band to dinner the other night!  Felt fancy to wear something other than stretch pants. 

Stretch marks? No.

Sleep: Yes.

Favorite things this week: This week, my favorite thing is just that the week went by.  I've been increasingly on edge as we get near William's birth point (24 weeks and 4 days I think) and I had an especially rough day on Saturday since I have such vivid memories of the Saturday that William was born.  I feel like that day is burned into my brain.  We finished Saturday off with a great dinner at Sociale, and I'm grateful to have a husband who truly gets me on days like that. 

Miss Anything?  Wine.  And cocktails.  Substituting with lots of herbal tea, hot water with lemon, and the occasional almond milk eggnog.   

Movement: Yes, sometimes a bunch of little ones in a row so I wonder if he has hiccups?  And if he does, is that OK? 
 
Food cravings: Not really.  

Gender: Boy.

Labor Signs:  No.

Symptoms: One or two headaches - either stress or not drinking enough water.  

Belly Button in or out? In.

Wedding rings on or off? On.

Happy or Moody?  Both. Looking forward to Christmas, a few vacation days, time with family and friends. And wondering if I will be a little bit more relaxed about this baby in a few weeks?? Maybe that's a choice I have to make. 

Love, S.

Parabens, Phthalates and Formaldehyde, Oh My

Getting pregnant, I always wonder what is and is not safe for baby... last time I couldn't figure it out, so I just followed my OB's basic recommendations.  She's pretty mellow about these things.  No alcohol, no lunch meat, no raw fish, no big fish, no unpasteurized cheese, no OTC meds besides Tylenol, etc. 

This time, I can't help but second guess my habits.  Is a mani/pedi dangerous for the baby?  What about my skin care and make-up regime?  What about the pesticides all over our food?  Do I need to eat organic?  Are dry cleaning chemicals dangerous?  Should I avoid all hair color (even supposedly ammonia-free)? 

Since there is an overwhelming amount of info out there, I'm trying to just relax about all of this.  Lots of people have very healthy babies without taking extreme measures. 

Even if I don't overanalyze every.single.product I eat, use or come in contact with, I was happy to learn that my fave skincare from Tatcha is  paraben and phthalate-free.  Love this SF company!
 

 

In my investigation I found a few interesting resources to share:

1. The Environmental Working Group's Skin Deep website has a lot of info. They categorize products, rating each ingredient's potential for harm.  I like this idea, but found the info to be a little bit overwhelming AND lots of the perfectly safe products look very hard to find - maybe even "only available at the health food store or co-op" hard to find.  I don't have time to hunt down rare products, so went back to Google for other ideas.

* One brand I did notice gets great ratings is California Baby, but most of the traditional cosmetic brands I currently use didn't get the highest marks and right now I'm trying to lower MY exposure to harmful ingredients so that I don't pass them on to baby.  Baby product research will happen later.

2. The FDA, info on parabens and phthalates.  Note that the FDA isn't very concerned about these ingredients, but some research does point to dangers.

2. Short WebMD article on environmental exposure to personal care products affecting children.  I liked the summaries, but this didn't necessarily help me chose safer products for my own use.

Love,
S

23 weeks pregnant

How far along? 23 weeks today -- He is probably 1.25 pounds now!

Total weight gain/loss:  Assuming 11 lb, but haven't weighed in for a few days.  Same gain as last time, except I started out several lbs heavier.  Oops!  Ignoring that.

Maternity clothes: Yes!  My little red coat doesn't button lately, so I can hear Tommy Boy in my head!  This is close to the most pregnant I've ever been (a week and a half away from William's birth), so if I feel super-prego now I'm sure I've got another thing coming in a month or two when the red coat won't even go on! 



Stretch marks? Not right now.

Sleep: Yes.

Favorite things this week: Having my cousin visit from London and stay with us for a little US retreat. We LOVE her. Emails and texts with a bestie who understands what this pregnancy is like, and is going through this with me side by side. Happy 23 weeks to both of us! 

Miss Anything?  The more innocent pregnant feelings I would have if William were still here. 

Movement: Yes, still no pattern but baby liked ravioli and pesto for dinner last night and kicked for ages!  Of course I started to wonder if a baby that kicks a lot is in distress.  Can't win!  Few kicks make me nervous, so do lots of kicks.
 
Food cravings: Not really.  

Gender: Boy

Labor Signs:  No

Symptoms: No new physical symptoms. Tired and grouchy sometimes but usually ok.  One or two stress headaches.  

Belly Button in or out? Still in. Where I hope it stays.

Wedding rings on or off? On

Happy or Moody?  Both.  Maybe I'll get less nervous in a few weeks when we pass William's birthday? 

Love, S.