This week was ok, but I'm more and more aware that we are getting closer to the point where I had William last time.  2.5 weeks from now, around 24.5 weeks, he was born.  So while things are progressing just how they're supposed to, I'm anything but relaxed. Last time everything was supposedly perfect at 22 weeks too.  Nervous, scared, about a second from tears at any time, and I really don't do well with the pregnancy small talk. I totally want to be a nice friendly pregnant person, but when people comment on my maternity clothes or ask how my latest appointment was or just make idle chit chat about pregnant things, all I can think is, "But last time I felt good too" or "Last time everything was going well too, and then...".  So in all honesty, tough week, but the doctors are happy so I guess there is that.

We have a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving, from a wonderful family and friends, to a second pregnancy.  This coming week I'm going to try to focus more on what is great, since I'm learning (or trying to) that worry doesn't change any outcome.  Here's how this week went:

How far along? 22 weeks and 1 day

Total weight gain/loss:  10 lb?? Haven't weighed myself for a while, so guessing

Maternity clothes: yes!  "New" jeans hand-me-downs from a friend to be grateful for

Stretch marks? Not right now

Sleep: yes, lots!

Best moment this week: Monday's ultrasound - the baby visit was fun, he is doing really well, and the perinatal doctor says no cerclage needed (SO relieved!!).

Miss Anything?  Jogging and gym time, especially with all of the Thanksgiving feasts we've had!

Movement: Yes, no pattern, but feeling kicks

Food cravings: Not really.  With thanksgiving, there is good food everywhere. Today = sour cream apple pie for breakfast.

Anything making you queasy or sick: No

Gender: Boy

Labor Signs:  No

Symptoms: No new physical symptoms. Tired and grouchy sometimes but usually ok.  One or two stress headaches.  And doctor added baby aspirin to my blood thinning regimen (enoxaparin shots once a day).  The medicine and vitamin count keeps going up!  One shot and then my prenatal (from Thorne Research, a great vitamin if you need one) is 3 pills per day, 1 baby aspirin with food, and 1000mg Calcium plus 1000 Units of Vitamin D every 12 hours because of the enoxaparin injections.  I'm usually a gummy vitamins only kind of girl, so for me this is a lot!  

Belly Button in or out? Still in. Where I hope it stays.

Wedding rings on or off? On

Happy or Moody?:  Both - this week was hard because I have been far far too aware that William's birthday is just 2.5 weeks from this point.  I know we are being monitored more closely this time, but I've definitely become a pregnancy hypochondriac.  

Love, S.

20 weeks, 4 days

Continuing last week's progress post, here's the update!

The only story this week is that I ran in to a pole when I got out of the car yesterday morning!  It was one of those moments where I looked around right after to see if anyone had noticed because I felt so silly.  A lady did smile, so I admitted that I'd actually done it before (true!) but was fine.  Honestly though, it hurt!!  And because my tummy goes first, I was worried that banging in to a pole hurt the baby.  A quick call to the doctor who is very patient with my questions so far, and all is well - baby is fine, I am fine, and maybe I will try not to run in to things anymore?

How far along? 20 weeks and 4 days

Total weight gain/loss:  About 7 lbs

Maternity clothes?  Absolutely!  Lucky to score work stuff from an old co-worker and mom and MIL sent gifts.  

Stretch marks? Not right now

Sleep: yes, lots!

Best moment this week: I'm pretty sure Hubby got to feel his first baby kick of the pregnancy yesterday morning.

Miss Anything?  A glass of wine with dinner

Movement: Yes, more and more!

Food cravings: Soft-serve ice cream or froyo

Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope

Gender: Boy

Labor Signs:  no

Symptoms: Headaches are gone, still have round ligament pain, and gave myself a bruise with one of this week's Lovenox shots!

Belly Button in or out? Still in. Where I hope it stays.

Wedding rings on or off? On.

Happy or Moody?:  Both, but this week has been less emotional than last week.

Love, S.

William's 1st Birthday

On November 2, William would have been 1.  I can't write about this yet because it breaks my heart. But I can say that every day I wonder what he would have been like.  What nicknames would we call him?  What would his favorite food be?  How would his 1 year old personality be developing?  What would we be teaching him?  Would he have a favorite bedtime story?  What would we have planned for his birthday?  Would he be walking, running and chasing Dempsey?  Would they be best friends or still getting to know each other?  Countless questions.

And as I wondered those things last Sunday, we received a bunch of really thoughtful texts and emails. I am forever grateful that so many people will remember him too.  The texts and emails and pictures made our day a little bit less lonely, and for all of that love I am so grateful.  I think someone special was behind it too, and that means so much to both my husband and I.  Friends and family, we couldn't do this without you.  

Here are a few of the pictures we received. 

We're starting a tradition of going to the bookstore around the corner on William's birthday to pick out books we might have loved reading to him and donating them to the Children's Book Project. The organization's mission is to make sure Bay Area kids have access to books at school and at home.  As they write, "Many children in the Bay Area live in homes without books and attend schools and programs where books are in short supply. Research shows that children to whom books are read have an easier time learning to read than those who don't have this experience. In addition, evidence shows that reading aloud to children actually helps their brain development."

Lots of love,
S.

It's been ages, so how about an update...

I've blogged many posts in my head since August when I wrote the first post  below... but I've been too conflicted to actually write anything because I have another big thing to talk about now.  I am pregnant again!  I didn't want to share that in August, and everything I've thought since has been about a combination of new pregnancy and old pregnancy so it is really hard to post anything at all.

But here I am, and I do honestly want to start to share both how I feel about William, and how his little brother's life is starting.

To start the sharing with something fun, I'm copying a post idea from a very good friend.  Here's my pregnancy update as of today, and hopefully I'll have many more of these to share:

How far along? 19 weeks and 3 days

Total weight gain/loss: 6-7 lbs 

Maternity clothes? y.e.s. definitely, but I can wear an old pair of jeans or some of my work pants with a Bella Band

Stretch marks? Not right now

Sleep: Crazy pregnancy dreams, but luckily not nightmares!!  

Best moment this week: Thursday's ultrasound, at 18 weeks and 6 days - Baby weighs about 10 ounces and looks perfectly healthy.  Relief and love all around.  So grateful Terce can go with me to all of my appointments, and that he gets as excited about these little baby visits as I do.  

Miss Anything?  Exercise (perinatal dr says no exercise beyond walking, and lots of the time walking hurts!)    

Movement: I feel funny tummy flutters, not sure exactly yet.

Food cravings: Eating too many Cheez-Its and too many Tootsie Rolls at work, but otherwise not sure I have cravings.  I would LOVE a burrito any time, but that isn't new.  I also LOVE the chicken pho from Soup Junkie by my office but I think that's just because I don't let myself eat pure carbs for lunch when I'm not pregnant!  

Anything making you queasy or sick: No.  I've been lucky there!

Gender: Boy.

Labor Signs: I should skip this, since everything worries me!  But no, probably no labor signs. 

Symptoms: Round ligament pain when I walk -- almost all the time, but it is to the side so OB is not concerned.  A cramp or two once in a while.   

Belly Button in or out? In. Where I hope it stays.

Wedding rings on or off? On.

Happy or Moody?:  Very emotional.